Top 10 things as executors we wished we’d known before we started

Becoming an executor, or an administrator, for someone who has died is big job at a hard time. Here’s what we wish we’d known before we became executors for the first time.

Definition

What is an executor? After each person dies, someone who is 18 years or older becomes responsible for handling all the practical, legal and financial aspects of their life that they have left behind. Most executors have no previous professional experience with law or finance.

If there is a will, it’s your job to distribute the estate according to the will of the person who has made it. You’re the executor if they have left a will stating that you are the executor. If there is no will, it’s the same job, but you are called an administrator instead. You will distribute the estate according to the laws of intestacy. (Intestacy means: not having made a will and last testament.)

1) Options: You can spend time with the person who has died at this unique time just after their death. You can ask to see them in the morgue, for example. Ask anyone involved - the hospital, coroner, funeral director - what the options are. You can spend a few minutes, hours or - with the help of your funeral director - you can arrange to have them embalmed and brought back home. This period is the last opportunity for people who know them to see them. There are many options, so do ask

2) Self-care: As an executor, you take on major duties at a difficult time - often without much notice. Try to remember that you need to look after yourself too. Accept emotional help and support from those around you. Your role as executor has a hard start but it has an end, and you’ll find it changes - often getting easier - over the months. See if you can find meaning in the role as executor

3) Executor jobs: It’s good to find out what you have to do right at the beginning. These are the things you have to do: 1) Register the death, 2) arrange the funeral, 3) value the estate, 4) pay any inheritance tax due, 5) if required, apply for probate, 6) handle the finances of the person who has died, 7) place a deceased estates notice, 8) distribute the estate according to the will or rules of intestacy, 8) keep estate accounts. They sound a lot, but you can do a lot yourself and get help from professionals for the parts you find are beyond your expertise

4) Time: There are two things to understand about time as an executor. The whole job of being an executor can take about a year (9-18 months), but there are only two legal deadlines you have to meet: 1) Registering the death within 5 days of death being confirmed. 2) Paying any inheritance tax due by the end of the 6th month after the date of death. Everything else can be done at the pace it takes. However, for your own benefit, try to keep moving with the tasks

5) Mistakes: You will find that the people you contact - at banks, utilities, accountants and even lawyers - make mistakes throughout your time as executor. Even by the people you pay to do important tasks will make errors. Try not to be angered by every problem. Know in advance, it’s your job to find those mistakes, ask calmly for them to be corrected and to keep everything moving. If you see it this way, it’s much easier to handle problems when they happen and to get the best out of the people you work with

6) The will: it is your job to execute the will of the person who has died within the legal timescale set. That means, it’s your job to do what is written in the will, because this is official version of what that person wanted to happen after their death. Then you can distribute everything that remains according to the will. If there is no will, you will be distributing everything according to the rules of intestacy

7) Expenses: You will notice from the beginning that there are smaller and bigger bills to pay. Keep your receipts for all of these expenses. From any money that the person left behind, you will be reimbursed. If you cannot afford to pay for more expensive things - like the funeral - most banks are able to allow you to access funds from the account of the person who died for this purpose

8) Disagreement between executors: Expect disagreement and difficult decisions. If there is more than one executor, there is likely to be disagreement. This is absolutely fine. It’s your job as executors to first hear and weigh up all the differing opinions and then - most importantly - to decide between them and move on. If there is an executor who is stopping the process of executing the will and administering the estate, they can revoke their executorship (they can give up their role as executor) or they can be removed

9) Rewarding: Most of us felt that, whilst it hard job, being an executor or administrator after someone’s death is a really rewarding role. It can bring you closer to the person to the person who has died and it feels quite a privilege to do these things on their behalf. It also helps us to understand that someone will do this for us one day. It made us think differently about our relationships going forward

10) The end: At the beginning it’s hard to see where this is all going, and it’s a lot to understand the structure of someone’s life, all the things they were doing, the people and the companies they were connected to. But, from experience we can tell you, you start becoming and executor, you do the job and then the role comes to an end. Give it a year or so and you’ll be done with nearly everything.

Good luck with everything and well done for taking on this important role.